Recently I felt the urge to ask the graduates of the Soul Business Blueprint this question: ‘What do you know to be true about soul-based business?’ I asked them to write their responses for the Sacred Business blog. Here are their inspiring reflections…
So, here I am, on the edge of launching a new offering that is so powerfully effective that it even blows my mind… pushing myself to a new level of creation and tapping into some of my under-utilised natural abilities.
And there’s a road block, well sort of. An obstacle that feels so big that it’s almost insurmountable. But, is it? Really? I’ve been told that it’s only a small obstacle, about ‘this’ high… less than a foot … Surely that’s surmountable… 🙂
So, here goes… I’m realising how terrified I have been of the Big Reveal. The one where I tell the world my story. Ironically, I’m great at story. Ironically, again, I like telling my story. I am an amazing story teller and I do love an audience… However, for all my love of telling story, I am actually quite a deeply private person and I prefer to share my story with a more select audience of close friends and confidantes… and, dare I say it, anyone who’s willing to listen, but usually on a one to one basis.
So what I have I been afraid of? Well, a whole plethora of things jump to mind but the biggest ones are of being seen, and being shot down for sticking my head above the crowd… and stepping outside the comfort zone of anonymity. I can tell you, it’s very safe in my cave, and I love it. It’s warm and cozy in here.
My story goes like this…
I’ve thrown in the towel, so to speak, and walked away from all the safety of the world I had created. I wanted to change my life. To one of authenticity, honesty and me standing in my true Self. This meant I needed to find me, the real Me. Deconstructing the persona that was created fit into the world I was raised in.
I left the corporate environment after 25 years and started my own healing centre, only to fail spectacularly within 9 months. I’d moved out of the house I lived in as I couldn’t pay the rent – all my money went into keeping the business floating (barely) so I moved in with my brother.
I believed in the Dream, that to be the holistic practitioner, I had to have the business premises. I found myself being an administrator and not the practitioner I loved being. To create the Dream, I went into a great deal of debt. But the Dream wasn’t real and it had to fall apart. And I needed to grieve the loss of this Dream.
Closing the business meant, I faced the fear of owing more money than I ever had before in unpaid rent for the premises, as well as receiving fines varying from parking infringements and speeding (all of which I had never experienced before). Suddenly I was facing authority issues as well money issues… and the big question was why?? Why now? It was truly terrifying.
All at once, my world was totally upside down. And I was a mess. Grieving the loss of the Dream, I was facing the incessant harassment from credit agents and demand letters from government agencies telling them how much I owed them. Little did I realise that I needed to pull apart my belief system in a very tangible way, not just theoretically. Thus began the deconstruction.
A wee bit of back story, I realised that I was constantly feeling that there was something missing in my world and it took years of questioning to finally understand that the ‘system’ we live in does not encourage our true nature to be fully present. So, in a sense, I felt like I was living a surface kind of life. It really felt like I didn’t have any depth to what I was doing, & how I was living my life. Asking myself those big questions.. Who am I? What matters to me? What do I want from the life I have created? Is the one I created, really the one I want?
For many years, I had been questioning the established ‘order’ that I was raised in. The one we all currently live in. How many of the ways we do things, are truly in the best interest of living a full and wholesome life? One that honours the planet we live on, all living beings, and each other. What I was faced with, was being told not to question it. And, being the person I am, I started to question.. and the answers I found, or was given didn’t make sense or sat well with me in terms of being fair and equitable. I saw how we are expected to live in a debt cycle and I didn’t want that.
I started to see that I wanted to know who I was without the corporate identity. No nice house. no nice car & clothes. Who would I attract towards me as my tribe. And, how can I be ‘provided for’ in an unconventional way, without the structure I was raised within. Without the ‘Doing’ of this world. Without feeling responsible for having to create a structure to make everyone else feel safe and in their eyes, be ‘productive’ and ‘responsible’.
I had to learn to stop ‘doing’, trust and receive. Receive from the Universe. I had to learn to let go of the ‘how’ something should look. Or how it would be created. I had to learn to trust that it would happen. I learned to set intentions. I then learned to be clear with my intentions. When I wasn’t clear, things would come towards me, but they didn’t quite fit the image I had in my mind..
It took a while, but I did it… over the last 3 years, I have learned to receive, and totally trust that I will always be provided for.
This has opened up the ability to see how money, as an energy, can present itself in so many different forms, not just cash. I’ve been learning to see what other forms of exchange are possible and allowing the cash to find it’s natural place in my world, instead of being the driving force of why I can or can’t have or do anything…
I have completely deconstructed my life from being safely corporate & ‘stable’, to completely mobile, and, in the eyes of the rest of the world, unstable. I’ve stepped out of debt, facing my fears (literally) regarding authority (govt, banks & family). As I write, I realise that I’ve had a fear of money… how it controls and how we (and I) have used it to control… still working on that..
It’s an ongoing process, but the most painful parts have been faced. I’m not afraid of fear, in the way I was initially. Once upon a time, I was fully polarised by the fear. It dominated my very being. Now, I know when the fear is in my body, and I have learned to observe it, not run from it or try to shove it down.
What has truly surprised me, is that there are a lot of people like me, out there, wanting change, and not knowing how to make it happen in their lives.
This is where I come in. This is my offering: to support people as they step off the cliff of change and into a life that is a true reflection of who they are. I’ve been there, I’ve lived it, and I know how it works.
And I will guide the way. I was given amazing support from the most extraordinary beings. I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have them in my life, still. And I wouldn’t have been able to do it without their belief in me, and their belief in the bigger picture. That there is another way.
It’s not until we are shown what true freedom looks like, that we can start to feel that it is really possible.
Written by Priscilla Whole